old & new

Hasil carian imej untuk smiling anime gif

Found out that, my old self is still there, trapped. Hoping to escape. While me, still stuck at a place i don't even know where, hoping for someone to save me. 
But then, i kept pushing people away. There is zero trust to anyone and even to myself. How fucked up me can be? I don't even know about it anymore far more to care about it. It is as if i'm living cause i needed to do so. But it can be so hard, suffocating, exhausting. I feel like i'm the worst person ever exist. cause i'm a fake. To anyone, to myself. To love? no more. There are no space for heartbreak cause there is no heart after all. Maybe I meant to be like this i guess? a fake. 
Smile and smile. showing the happiness that does not even truly exist and regretting everything. I can't seem to find the old self that does not bother about what others think and enjoy every minutes of living.

Anyway, this is a little rant about how i feel about life. It wasn't everyday feels so fucked up it is just sometimes, you feels life is not fair and you need to speak up about it but there is no one who would really took care about what you're going to say. They said they'd care about everything, they'd listen but they aren't. A whole bunch lie I've heard. You doesn't even care. Don't act like you do.



Ulasan

Catat Ulasan

Catatan popular daripada blog ini

Sorry

Imej
Sorry, yeah.. I liked you, And Im ugly, Maybe you are feeling embarrassed because of me, Im so sorry dude. I don't know why are you doing that, you walk passed me and only the fence became the wall between us, I glanced, And yeah of course i saw you, But then i started feeling nervous, Shit, I don't want it, How to get rid from you? I mean not to get rid, but stop giving hopes, I easily getting jealous, but i know you're not mine, Not even once i thought you're mine, It hurts a lot, You're giving me headaches, thinking about it everytime, and heart broken, when i think you like other girl, well, Im not that pretty, that you'll fall in love after looking at me for the first time, But , I don't want to be your lover or what, I just want to like you, Heh, its like i want to torture my self, But no, Im too ugly for you, hehe, yeah, Im sorry for liking you, really,really sorry, I didn't mean to do so. Bye, (Sorry be...
Baca lagi

Depression

Imej
Why can't i be heartless, I want to stop all these depression, I have the best and loud laugh but it's just to, Covering all, nobody realize, Only some who care, and others? Just piece of something.. Doing everything like the place is theirs, Without realizing they hurt me, I don't mind of getting scolded, But i want it to be fair, Not by judgement, Im sick of judgement, By your eyes, I don't need it, I have so many things in the world to think about, But YOU Repeated the same thing, The head ache is burning my head, The heart ache is ruining my mood, are you trying to kill me? Or trying to make me kill? I don't know how to express all these, Maybe, one day, You'll feel how i felt before. You dumbass Go Love Yourself you kid,Don't just sing.Because you look pathetic.
Baca lagi

Fake

Imej
Fake, Okay look, There are many types of fake, Its too many till i can't list them, Act im lazy to do so, Once i laughed , Then instantly my smile fade, I felt annoyed, But its not because them, I suddenly felt it, i have mixed emotion, That me or myself dont even understand, But im not a hypocrite, I laughed and instantly mad, Im just like that, Im sad but i laughed, Sometimes, I look like an idiot, But im hurting inside, But im laughing outside, Sometimes i want to be alone, No reason, Its not like i hate everyone, nope, That feeling come so suddenly, Maybe it's the effect from my playlist, keep listening to those heartbreaking song, Mirror, Rainy Rainy, I Need U, Memory, Cold at night, Loser, If you, Error, Eternity, Reset, Rainy days, Goodbye my love and many more, sometimes, I want to cry but just can't, But im not fake, Im showing the true of myself, Recently it's showing a lot, Heh, i dont know why.. Don't even da...
Baca lagi