old & new
Found out that, my old self is still there, trapped. Hoping to escape. While me, still stuck at a place i don't even know where, hoping for someone to save me. But then, i kept pushing people away. There is zero trust to anyone and even to myself. How fucked up me can be? I don't even know about it anymore far more to care about it. It is as if i'm living cause i needed to do so. But it can be so hard, suffocating, exhausting. I feel like i'm the worst person ever exist. cause i'm a fake. To anyone, to myself. To love? no more. There are no space for heartbreak cause there is no heart after all. Maybe I meant to be like this i guess? a fake. Smile and smile. showing the happiness that does not even truly exist and regretting everything. I can't seem to find the old self that does not bother about what others think and enjoy every minutes of living. Anyway, this is a little rant about how i feel about life. It wasn't everyday feels so fucked ...